How am I supposed to let go?
by AbbyGibbs
Summary: Barry doesn't wanna see Iris anymore… he goes to see a friend after his decision. His friend tells him it's not his to make a choice for her.


**How am I supposed to let go?**

 **Author:** AbbyGibbs

 **Disclaimers** : Well, I do not own them and that is unfair – they belong to DC COMICS and the rest of the crew that helped created the comics and the show.

Classification: A bit of drama, romance, fluff, love confession, friendship.

Pairing: Barry Allen/Iris West

Rating: T

Spoilers: None, at least none, I can think of.

 **Summary** : Barry doesn't wanna see Iris anymore… he goes to see a friend after his decision. His friend tells him it's not his to make a choice for her.

 **Author's note: I hope no one else came up with this idea already. I've read lots of WestAllen fics already, but not everything so** **if it's the case well, I'm sorry. I think people can have similar ideas but will write it differently anyway.**

 **I just wanted to say it's been a very long while since I've enjoyed writing so much. So thank you everyone. And thanks to Grant Gustin, Candice Patton, Danielle Panabaker, Carlos Valdes and all the rest of cast and crew for making enjoy writing again and to make "The Flash" the great show it is.**

 **Yes, yes, I know I have "Just a Kiss" to continued, and I am. But I had to write this down.**

 **This is un-beta'd so forgive me for the mistakes, misspelling or anything else that might be wrongly written.**

Feedback: well, I'd love them, of course – who wouldn't? But please, only if you respect my work because it takes a lot of time and energy to get a story together. I love writing; I wouldn't allow anyone to discourage me from doing so, never. I don't have any problems at all with readers who choose not to go for this, but I decidedly do with those who write disrespectful mails just because they didn't get the ending they would have wanted. If you want to tell me what I might have done better within the story I made up, you're always very welcome to let me know. But if your only concern is to rant about it, then please, do it in private, okay? Thank you.

"I don't want to see you anymore, Iris." Barry said firmly before closing the door behind him.

Iris West just stood there rooted to the spot fixing the closed door, tears running down her cheeks.

When Joe came home, about fifteen minutes later, Iris hadn't move an inch, she was still standing on the same spot and crying. The man closed the door and immediately rushed to his daughter. "What's wrong baby? Have you hurt yourself?"

"Barry…" she whispered.

"Did something happen to Barry?" Joe asked, as his heartbeat started to race, thinking the worst.

"He… he…" Iris tried to speak the words, but she couldn't.

Now Joe was worried "Iris come on, baby, talk. What's going on with Barry.

Joe watched his daughter taking a deep breath before she finally managed to form a complete sentence.

"Barry doesn't want to see me anymore."

Joe let out a sigh of relief that he wasn't injured. Then frowned when he realized what Iris had just said.

"What? Why? What happened?"

"I don't know dad, I came home from work early, I wanted to check a few things out, I was happy to find Barry was already there because it had been such a long time since we'd spend some time together with Eddie and everything that's going on in my life and my blog… I wanted to give him a hug, but he went backward and said he didn't want to see me anymore before walking out the door." Iris told her father as fresh tears ran down her cheeks.

"I'm sure, he'll be back soon." Joe said as he slowly guided her toward the couch.

"No he won't. I know him dad, he meant every word, he said."

"Sit, I'll get you some coffee. You'll feel better after you have some caffeine in your system."

"How do you want me to feel better? I feel someone has just stabbed me. I broke up with Eddie."

"Wait, wait, wait… you what?"

"I broke up with Eddie. The spark between us just died. I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

"Okay, here drink up." Joe told her as he handed her a mug of coffee.

"All I want now, is to know where my best friend is."

"I don't know sweetheart. Have you tried to call him?"

"No, but he won't pick up is cell phone if call him. Dad he had so much sadness in his eyes, it felt as if I'd betrayed him or something."

"It's going to be okay, Barry, I promise." Felicity Smoak told her friend as she kept her arms around him.

Barry pulled back, just enough to be able to look at her. "How can it be okay? When I can let go of her? It's not that I don't want to. I know it'll be better for me if I could let of my feelings for Iris, but I can't. I can't switch them off. Believe me, Felicity, I wish I could. God, I wish I could because it hurts so much."

"I know Barry." Felicity said sympathetically.

"I mean, I'm a superhero, I can save people, but I don't have any right to be happy. How's that fair? Each time I see Iris with Eddie, I feel as if someone is stabbing me. Each I want to yell and asked her why she couldn't wait for me. I know I should have told her…" Fresh tears fell from Barry's cheeks has he said those words.

It took everything she had in her for Felicity not to cry with him. Her heart broke for her friend. He had gone through so much already. She put her hand at the back of his neck and pulled him back to her.

Maybe, it was time, she and Iris had a little chat, Felicity thought. She had Oliver might not be have chance together, but if she could get any say on Barry and Iris she would.

Barry seemed to calm down after a few moments and he said, "How am I supposed to let her go when I know what it feels like to kiss her."

The blond woman pulled slightly away from Barry and looked at him questioningly for a moment. Not understanding, but then something seemed to click in her mind and he knew Felicity knew what he was talking about.

"Time travel" She simply said.

Barry nodded his head in response. "By accident."

Felicity pulled away from him completely, before she took his hand, and lead him to the couch. They sat together and he told her what had happen.

"I'm so sorry, Barry..."

"Thank you. I mean, I know that he would be for the best not to be with her. That way she would be protected, my head knows it, but my heart doesn't want to listen, it keeps crying out for her."

"Head versus heart, the winner's always the same… your heart always knows what's best for you. It doesn't know danger, right, wrong or anything else. In the end, the heart dictates your decisions. And you can't make a decision for someone else, Barry."

"You're saying I should go back and talk to her?"

"Yes. Take the risk, tell her how you feel again and see what happens. Don't tell her about your travel though. There's no need for that."

"I'm not sure, I could survive another rejection." Barry told his friend.

"If there is another one, you'll survive it, Barry Allen, you are a superhero, you are the fastest man alive. And you'll asked her again and again until she says yes, because you won't let go, you're not gonna give up. Each time, you'll need me, I'll be right here. I'll always be there for you." The woman sitting beside him said.

"I guess you're right. Barry Allen would be able to survive rejection, but not a lifetime without her." He smiled the first real smile since he arrived.

Felicity Smoak smiled at in response. "Never give up on love, Barry. The road is tough, full of obstacles and pitfalls, but so worth it."

"You are probably right; actually, I know you are. I guess, I just needed a moment of self-pity." Barry smiled.

"Everyone is entitled to a little self-pity, even heroes."

"Thanks, Felicity." Barry said in a soft voice before he placed a kiss on her cheek.

They hugged and he was gone. "You're welcome," she said aloud, but she was talking to air already.

Felicity really hoped that things would turn out for the best for Barry and Iris, Barry deserved to have a little happiness of his own. If he didn't talk to her she would help destiny a little bit. Felicity decided smiling. On second thought decided to help destiny right now. She stood up and went in search for her cell phone.

Iris still felt sad and hurt by her best friend's reaction, but most of all she felt empty. Iris had the impression she was incomplete. Never before had she felt like this, not even when she had a fight with Eddie.

Her phone vibrated. A text message, Barry.

Her face lit up when she saw who had sent the text.

 _ **Meet me at the lake, in twenty-five minutes.**_

Barry had sent a message to Iris that was Joe's conclusion when his saw his daughter's face light up.

"I have to go dad." She told her father, before she rushed out the door."

Iris would be early, but she didn't care. She bought herself and Barry a coffee on the way. He was going to appreciate some warmth. The temperature had dropped a few degrees and it was getting cold.

When she approached her lake she was surprised to see that Barry was already there. She briefly wondered how he got there so fast, but then she realized he could have already been there when he send her the text message.

He was facing the lake.

"Iris" Barry murmured. She was here he could sense her presence somehow. He turned around and there she was walking toward him, smiling shyly at him. He couldn't help but returning the smile.

As she stopped a few inches from him, Barry realized, she'd cried too. Her eyes were still slightly red rimmed and puffy. He immediately felt a pang of guilt knowing he was the one responsible for her tears.

"Hey…" he said softly.

"Hey," she replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"You send me a text message saying to meet you here in 25 minutes."

"I did no such thing. You did." Barry told his best friend.

Iris frowned at his replied. "Yes, you did, I'll show it to you. And I didn't sent a text message either," She said as she handed to coffee she had bought for him before she fetching for her cell phone to show him.

Iris looked for the text message Barry supposedly sent her and handed him her phone. It had indeed been send from his cell phone. He frowned in disbelief.

"I didn't send you a text, Bear, I would have, but I couldn't, not after you left the house saying you didn't want to see me anymore." Iris said in a sad voice.

"I'm sorry about that, Iris; I thought it would be for the best."

Iris purposefully ignored Barry answer for now. She wanted to know who had sent her the text if it wasn't him. "Who send me this message then?

"Who send it to my phone if it wasn't you?" Barry asked not expecting an answer.

They both thought for a minute and then "Felicity!" They said in unison.

"Listen, Iris. I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. It's just that I thought not be around you would be for the best for the both of us.

"How can you think for one second that not seeing any more would be a good thing? Barry you and I are best friends, I can't imagine my life without you in it."

"You've got Eddie now. You don't need me."

"I will always need you, Barry. Always. Without you, I do stupid things. When you were in a coma… what did I do? I said yes to the first guy who asked me out. When you are not around, I take the wrong decision Barry."

Barry looked at her intently now, hoping to find the confirmation of what she just said.

"Wait a minute, I you telling me, you think that dating Eddie was a mistake?"

Iris didn't answer him in words, she simply nodded her head affirmatively. At her words Barry took a sip of his coffee and put one hand behind as head as he often did when he was getting nervous.

"But… But you are happy with Eddie you love him."

"That's what I thought too, but I was just fooling myself." She said slowly.

"What do you mean?"

Iris smiled, and put a hand on the one that was holding his coffee. "Bear, for a few weeks now, I've been thinking about Eddie and me and I realized that I only said yes to him because you weren't around. I needed someone to take care of me when you weren't available, I guess. I was scared that you never wake up and I miss you so much…"

"What are you saying?" He asked unsure.

"I'm not even certain, I know what I'm trying to say, to be honest."

Iris saw something shift in Barry eyes, as reassuring smile appeared on his lips. "It's me Barry Allen, your best friend you can tell me anything."

Of course, she could tell him anything that, she knew, but how was she supposed to tell him that each time she came at the lake she had an impression of déjà vu, and that when she was here with Eddie she actually wanted to be with him. It was if Eddie didn't belonged there. When she was at the lake, it had to be with Barry. She had the strange impression they had to be here.

"Barry have we been here before?"

"Of course, we have been here before, Iris; it's our place since we were kids."

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean then?"

"Have we been here before… standing here before in stormy weather…"

This couldn't be, Iris couldn't remember it? Could she? Barry wondered…

Lost in thoughts, Barry didn't see her come to stand closer to him, so close she could feel his breath on her face. She dropped her coffee, and leaned in and pressed her lips on his. Barry was startled at first and it took him a few seconds to respond to the kiss.

While she kissed Barry she saw them again, they were kissing, the weather was horrible, there was thunder, but it wasn't raining. The wind was blowing and there seemed to be a tsunami coming or something. And there was something else…

The Flash… Barry was The Flash.

She broke the kiss abruptly. Grinning wildly at him. "You're THE FLASH" said.

Barry dropped his coffee to the ground, how he had managed to hold it when he was kissing Iris he had no idea, but now it had slipped out of his hand as he looked at her wide eyed.

"All this time, I thought I had a déjà vu feeling. It wasn't one, was it? Us, the kissing it was real… Oh my god, Barry, I'm so sorry."

"No, Iris… it's…"

"You can't lie to me Bear…"

"Iris…" He started, but she cut him off.

"Ever since the night you told me how you felt about me, I have not be able to stop thinking about you. At first I was really mad, but then I realized, the reason I couldn't stop thinking about you is because I didn't wanted to…"

At her words, Barry knew she'd remembered that moment. It wasn't possible, because it had been erased, and yet her she was remembering that she had confessed her feeling to him…

"Iris." he murmured smiling as tears of joy rolled down his cheeks.

"Love always finds its way back." She whispered before their lips met again and again for small kisses until one small kiss turned into a passionate one. His tongue caressed her lower lips asking for permission to explore.

Iris eagerly granted him that permission. Their tongues dueled and caressed, when they broke the kiss out of breath and in much need of oxygen. They both smiled at each other. Barry's world was right again. Their world was right again.

Life could throw anything at them; they'd knew they'd get through it stronger because they were together.

THE END

 **Now back to the writing "Just a Kiss" chapter two.**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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